Monday, March 26, 2007

The adventure of Jack

Okay, it’s Thursday night, 11.30, SAAK, as he is want to do on nights that end in y is enjoying a bottle of Merlot, watching Buffy. Phone rings, that’s unexpected, but hey. It’s SAAK’s mum, the news is SAAK’s little sister has gone into labour 7 weeks early, looks like she will need to be taken to either Sydney or Canberra…. Small country town can’t deal with premature babies.

Nothing, nothing, nothing….. okay will call older sister, see what is going on…. "why are you answering the phone mum" "we’re at the hospital" "what, the hospital across the road from my house? I’ll be there in 6 minutes".

The news is Sydney is the destination, SAAK’s cousin, the midwife says "you’re about to be an uncle"…. It hits home, things are very serious. Plane is leaving at 2.30, it’s now 1am… okay …. Road trip. SAAK mum and brother inlaw take 4 minutes to pack and jump in the car and off we go.

It’s a long trip from the middle of nowhere to Sydney at 1 in the morning… things look good, all the right turns take…. Right up to the last one…. Should have turned right there… bugger…. Get to Westmead about 5ish… long night… but will get longer.

Park the car…. Don’t care if we get a fine… more important things to worry about now… find the right wing …. Sign "STRICTLY NO VISITORS", fuck that, we’ve just driven 4 hours in the middle of the night, we have to sit by her side.. she’s in a great deal of pain.

Little sister grimacing, can feel her pain just sitting next to her… what can we do to help…. Nothing, just have to sit there, be there….. morning, still feels like Thursday…. Little sister sleeps, wish SAAK could… really wish brother inlaw would.

Friday, or so they say, still feels like Thursday to SAAK…. Long night… tired, not as much as SAAK little sister though, mum’s has managed to sleep on the damn uncomfortable chairs.
It’s all a bit surreal…. A little normality as another of SAAK’s cousins collects us from the hospital… some food and a shower… feeling a little better now…. Walk to find a paper (and some cigarettes, SAAK has not bought a pack for a few months now, but it seems like a good idea…. Ah, that’s better).

Back to the hospital, arrange a room in a near by motel and back to the wards… sister still in a great deal of pain… overwhelmingly helpless feeling….father and big sister here now…. Little sister feels a little better. Dinner? Sure why not, little sis needs a sleep anyway and they are going to kick us out as visiting time quickly comes to an end.

Dodgey pub, no one cares, surprisingly good food and very welcome beer…. BED ahhh, hot night, 5 adults, small room, very noisy air conditioner and a snoring father… no one cares.. two days… no sleep… dead tired. PHONE, WHOSE PHONE IS THAT….. no one answers it…. PHONE… brother inlaw answers it, cloths on away… something is happening.

SAAK’s phone was going flat, it was off….. turn it on…. Message "swear word, swear word, swear word, swear word, this hurts" FUCK… she’s in pain and my phone is turned off… what kind of brother am I.
Arrive back to hospital 7.30… what day is it? No one knows… it does not matter. Maternity ward, "how’s our girl doing?" nurse "sorry, I’ll have to send someone out to talk to you"…..NO.. FUCK… SOMETHING IS WRONG. Mum’s face goes ashen.

Noise…. Good noise… bother inlaw running down a hallway…. Jumping, clapping, clicking heals….good news? Has to be… IT’S A BOY. What… sorry… what…
4 pounds, 43.5 cms…. ALIVE.

Okay can’t see sister for a while…. Fill in time…vote.. another story, kind of funny… she’s back, we can see her and the baby…. Let’s go… he is tiny, gorgeous, breathing and alive.. RELEIF. No name yet.

His name is Jack… SAAK did not hear that part, all he heard has Jack’s middle name… little sister has named her first born after SAKK, he still tingles every time he hear the name….

That was Jack’s adventure… time to meet him.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Reflections on reflections.

There is an old bloke hanging round of recent times. SAAK sees him almost every day.

Neither familiar nor familial, SAAK is a tad on the concerned side. He sees him and thinks to himself, why don’ t you just fuck off, no one wants you here.

Can’t say that kind of shit out loud, seems this side of right in a one person abode.

Unavoidable, unacceptable, unfathomable and ungood…….

LA VIE…… there, I’ve said it…

SAAK out

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Random Prose

There are those destined for the extraordinary.

Those bound by mediocrity.

Nerre the twain to co-exist.

For how shall the latter exist with the knowledge of chaining such unbridled talent.

Lonely one for the greater good sometimes is noble.

Existence sux, cope…. Or don’t

Friday, February 09, 2007

SAAK's Friday (Read rural health)

SAAK woke up, much as he does every other day, fuck, here is another day that must be dealt with…. Okay.
He, as he usually does, goes to the shower…. And then FUCK…. There is a thing on SAAK’s hip, so he flails at it (SAAK, without his glasses is blind) to no avail. Calming down SAAK realises that this thing is upon his person.
Getting to work SAAK thinks, okay this is not good, random black things on you person are this side of good generally. He calls the local doctor…. Half and hour later someone answers, SAAK "can I make an appointment to see the doctor?" Random person "Who do you normally see" SAAK "Normally I’m not sick" Random girl "so you don’t have a regular doctor. SAAK "no, I’ve only been here a year". Random girl "Sorry we can’t help you, perhaps you should try…."
Okay, either business is really good, or this charlie has taken umbrage to SAAK’s humor. He call the other doctor, after 20 minutes someone answers. This woman ask is it urgent? SAAK "Well, I’m not bleeding to death, but, having failed my doctors degree I’m not sure"… again not sure if this woman has a sense of humor…. But 12.30 is the call.
SAAK rocks up at the doctors at 12.20 (hey he’s an accountant, normally at least on time). 1.06, the doctor can see you now… thank fuck for that… glad it’s not urgent.
The doctor (it must be prefaced now that SAAK has not seen a doctor in the last 10 year) promptly, after some kind of pressure thing tell SAAK that he has high blood pressure 150/90? Completely indifferent to the big black random bruise that SAAK has come in to talk about, suddenly SAAK is about to have a blood test and surgery to remove something from his back.
There is a reason SAAK’s not see a doctor for ten year….. not looking forward to seeing a dentist.a

Monday, January 22, 2007


Blah, nah actually BLAH. But you know cest le vie. New computer, new abode, same lonely, but hey, SAAK would complain, but who would listen.

SAAK has in the last week or so enlisted the help of the local dance instructor and gym owner, i know what you are thinking, gym, what's a gym.... ahh gym, to find a female. Small country town does not refer to the finer sex of the place.

SAAK has been in the middle of nowhere now for over 12 months and let me tell you something, there is one thing he misses about the big smoke more than the Swannies, and that is the talent.

As was mentioned earlier... BLAH, SAAK's got nothing, not unusual, but he has a new computer... that's a plus, now just needs something to write about.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Hello Uncle SAAK

SAAK’s baby sister is having a baby, despite the fact that she is unlikely to call the child Seven as per SAAK’s wishes, this news does gladden his heart. SAAK recently turned 31, yes the bottom of the hill is in plane view, and it’s not pretty and things were a little down.

SAAK does think he will make a great uncle, this child is going to be so spoiled her parents (yes Seven is a feminine name, yet only 12 weeks old SAAK feels it’s a girl, otherwise SAAK would be pushing for B3ob as the name, the 3 is silent) are going to rue the day they introduced her to uncle SAAK.

From a completely selfish perspective, which, lets face it SAAK takes life in general, this does distract from the suckenness of getting older. Sunday, SAAK was filled with the dread that, yes another year is gone and no, nothing has changed and yes, it is now more likely that this life will be lonely and sucky for ever. Now though, SAAK has something to look forward to.

This child will speak such proper English that only SAAK will appreciate its beauty and be so damn sarcastic that even her mother would.. you would have to know SAAK’s little sister….

:-) for something different…

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

A curious conundrum

For those of you have read SAAK before, SAAK knows there are not that many of you.. SAAK left the big bad city about 10 months ago… in nearly 10 years there SAAK had not met one person of his age he would call a friend… thinking, o’well, drowning not waving, SAAK has move to the middle of nowhere looking for a new start.

Okay, good plan you might thing, but unbeknownst to SAAK loneliness does not enjoy company.. rather it festers better on it own. IT’S TOUGH TO BE LONELY WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE AROUND YOU. Okay, yes, there are 5 million people in Sydney, but SAAK did not know any of them, in the middle of nowhere there are 5 thousand people and SAAK is related to many of them.

The move here was, as SAAK probably knew at the time, a resignation from life, but the constant “what’s wrong”, “what’s wrong”, that should be followed by “I’m sad and old and lonely and tired and fed up”, is responded by the usual not committal “nothing, why?”

Loneliness, as SAAK has now realised is a security blanket for the alone…. but it make so much more sense when you’re alone …..

SAAK gets the overwhelming feeling that, not only for himself, but for those who think they know him, he should have stayed and suffered in the big bad… FUCK SAAK IS LONELY….