common sense rules

Much Ado has suggested creating “a list of common sense rules for the world to live by”. Mainly because SAAK is a little on the selfish side, he thought his list would have a bit of a meish theme.

Therefore I bring you 5 rules SAAK would have liked to enforce over the past two days…

5) public transport is not designed to deal with broadsheet newspapers… AFR okay, SMH NO GOOD, do not sit next to SAAK and expect him to scrunch up against the window whilst you enjoy your morning paper.

4) if you happen to see SAAK walking down George St with his eyes firmly fixed on the ground 3 feet in front of him 1) he does not want a leaflet 2) he does not have a spare dollar 3) he neither needs nor wants to find god.

3) just because you have the dexterity to walk and text message at the same time, does not give you automatic right of way.

2) if you cannot control the speed or volume of you children, do not bring them with you to the pub of a Sunday afternoon.

and

1) if you must queue hop at the bar, do not order frou-frou drinks that will require the barmaid’s attention for in excess of 7 ½ minutes…

Must be certifiable…

For those of you, if per chance you exist at all, that don’t know, SAAK quit his job 3 weeks ago. Being the nice chappy his is, when asked to change his 4 weeks notice to 8 he obliged.

Today SAAK has been sat on his pat in the office since 7.30 (his normal bundy time) till now, 10am. I could be completely loosing the plot (very plausible) but surely the dude who has quit should be the more likely to become somewhat lackadaisical in his work.

Having said that, of course, SAAK has not been working for the past 6 minutes whilst writing this inane drivel.

Oh well, back to it.

854 hours to emancipation !!!!!! Fuckin’ A

New Leaf … Fuck it .. New Tree

Yes, half my life is over, well actually, if you knew how much I drank .... and smoked ..... and how poor my diet has been over the past ten years, half is pretty generous.

But afoot a new dawn, a new day, a new decade ………..a new attitude?

New decade resolutions;

Okay, let’s kill the obvious up front, QUIT SMOKING. Well duh, but thus far, not too bad. There have been no cigarette procurements since SAAK was in his twenties, 3 days, pretty good for me actually.

DRINK LESS, mmmm, not overly convinced about this one. Of SAAK’s vices this is without doubt my favorite ….. mayhaps an AFD every once in a while. Give Mr Liver an opportunity to recuperate.

SOCIALISE MORE, I know what you are saying … “dude, you spend most days that end in the letter ‘y’ at the pub, WTF are you going on about ‘socialise more’”. I mean meet some people, stop being such a hermit, sitting at the pub on your Pat is not only not socalising, it’s a tad bit creepy.

Spend more time with MUM. SAAK’s mum is not well, the whole family came up to the big smoke to celebrate (commiserate depending on your POV) SAAK’s birthday, it was great, but poor mommy was plumb tuckered out most of the time. She’s not been well for a time now and two visits a year for the past ten years seems not quite enough ….

This sounds like a plan, now, all we need it some implementation action.

Anon ….

Now that’s what I call a job interview.

A friend of SAAK’s father called out of the blue this week. This conversation ensued..

“I’m in England at the moment, but will be back Wednesday, would like to catch up”
SAAK “Sure”.
“How about we have a few beers and go over some things”
SAAK “Good plan”

Meeting

“So, I hear you're in need of a job”
SAAK “haven’t really started looking, going to take some time off”
“How about another beer”
SAAK “I’ve not said no to a beer yet and don’t intend starting now”

Later

“I’ve got a position for you when ever you want to start”
SAAK “How about January?”
“Done, how about another beer?”

So it looks like SAAK is going to be a country boy for a while, well this city existence has not worked thus far … why not.

I knew something would fall out of the sky…..

Regrets of the Aged

With but three days remaining before SAAK can no longer claim to be mid to late twenties it seems an appropriate time to rue the things he did not do before turning thirty.

Travel – in thirty years SAAK's only travel experience was a weekend in Melbourne. Thanks BookBook, it was a great weekend.

Romance – Had lunch with a girl once, not sure that counts. It seems sad that, even though SAAK has known his fate from a young age, things turned out this badly.

Family – see romance.

Career – Working for nearly ten years and having it still seem like work just does not seem to cut the mustard.

Friends – Despite being in Sydney for nearly 7 years there is still no one SAAK’s age he could just call and say “(insert name of non-existent person here) how about a beer”

Wealth – nope

Oh well … Next life time …. here we come ….

All Change

Well, well, well.. it seems as though the gods have decided that SAAK needs a complete overhaul.

At the end of this week he will no longer be mid to late twenties, in 1,118 hours (and counting) he will no longer be employed and in 6.66 weeks he will no longer be a Sydneysider.

All in all, considering how poorly the last 10 years have panned out, none of the aforementioned really seem that scary, but having said that, to SAAK they are all in the deep dark distant future.

Here’s to unknowingness ….

Sayonara

This morning, SAAK put in his resignation. Fucked if I know what I am going to do, but hey, there is 8 weeks notice given, sure something will fall out of the sky.

At least the panic associated with quitting a well paid job in the city has not struck yet, just the euphoria of the weight coming off SAAKs shoulders.

HOORAY !!!!!!

…fun are the days…

This morning in SAAKland consisted of …

Managing Director “you fucking lost $100,000”
SAAK “I what?”
MD “You fucked this up completely”
SAAK “Let me find out what is going on”
MD “Don’t fucking try to defend yourself”

Mid morning and early afternoon scouring through accounts, which, by the by, were not completed initially by SAAK.

Late afternoon, after sourcing all transactions...

SAAK “This is the listing of all transactions and all the source documents”
MD “… Well it’s good that you found the $100,000 .. but it still took you a fucking long time to work it all out”

AAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

Thank fuck for weekends, think I might drink my person into a stupor.

Let me count the ways…

Having been in the countryside for several days (loads of fun at sisters wedding, if this accounting thing does not pan out, I think I’ll become an Emcee, perhaps not) .. and having had a case of the sick like dogs for a couple more, SAAK has been in a Special K free zone for a week now…. Oh the bliss, but in that special SAAK kind of way, there is always something to drivel about.

Sorry sidetracked, my point is, every time I come back from the country I wonder, WHY? I thought, perhaps a pros and cons list of good ole Sydney town might be in order.

Pro – Lots of people.
Con – No one to talk to.

Pro – Lots of pretty woman
Con – They all seem to have discernment.

Pro – Lots of stuff
Con – Stuff is usually a long way away and damn expensive.

Pro – Steady job
Con – Work SUCKS

Pro – Lots of bars (good pro)
Con – Drinking alone makes one seem a bit sad.

I seem to have run out of pros. Guess I’m going to have to save up my remaining bucket of cons for another day….