Working Life

The older I get, the more I find people to be very strange creatures indeed. This could be more of an indictment on me than the rest of the world, but let’s work on the presupposition that I’m right.

I find myself working in an office environment where the automatic reaction to anything slightly out of the ordinary is twofold, first is to PANIC, then blame the general dogs body, me. Don’t get me wrong, I am a professionally qualified accountant, but best described as GDB.

Now, if you have read any of the previous drivel I have written, (which I doubt, actually, I doubt you exist in the first place, but that is a psychotic episode for anther time) you would no doubt be aware that I, like Lisa, am of the MTV generation and feel neither highs nor lows, making reactions like this to such insignificant events unfathomable to me.

So I say, THEY ARE ALL MAD, every single one of them….. MAD LIKE DUCKS.

Track 5

I'm so happy because today I've found my friends they're in my head (oft times, actually a great deal of time, is spent arguing in my head with the people I once knew and will always respect, who are so much smarter than I could ever be, I miss them (yes that includes you, however, in my head, sometimes, I will win an argument))
I'm so ugly but that's okay cause so are you (considering the duality of self, this is an apt description of both me and this thing that carries me)
We've broken our mirrors (last weekend, I managed to drop and smash to tiny pieces the only hand held mirror in my abode)
Sunday morning is everyday for all I care and I'm not scared (maintaining an outlook of complete indifference to everything, coupled with the realisation of the absolute inevitability of existence is the only thing keeping me here. If I cared, I would be completely fucked)
I'm so lonely but that's okay I shaved my head (this is probably more the practical side of me, it’s quicker to cut my hair than it would be to find a barber and hell, you can't really stuff it up and if you do, oh well, what ever)
And I'm not sad (okay that’s a lie)
And just maybe I'm to blame for all I've heard but I'm not sure (it is well know to anyone who has met me that it’s my fault, what ever the it de jour may be, I may not have had any influence, it may not have been my decision, but …. (and that annoys me sometimes))
I'm so excited, I can't wait to meet you there... (if only she read this blog, she might have understood)
But I don't care (being of the mtv generation I feel neither highs nor lows)
I'm so horny but that's okay... My will is good (hope is a four letter word)

Is it just me? … a lot of the time it’s just me..

Seems to me as though the older I get the more my brain will wander off in its own directions with no explicit instructions from me.

Today I found my self spending an inordinate amount of time wondering why dead people are referred to as deceased, I would have thought logically they would be ceased wouldn’t they? I suppose any time spent pondering such an inane question would be considered inordinate, but you get the gist.

But my point is more, will someone point out to me when I am nearly completely doo-lally or is it fait accompli that a some point I will involuntarily be talking to myself out loud, or more to the point, am I doing that now in prose?

More Silent than Protest

I like my pub, it’s just round the corner from my place, it’s relatively quite and there is plenty of talent behind the bar. It’s a great place to sit and read a book, have a quite schooner or three and smoke a few cigarettes. Well that was until the advent of anti-smoking laws in New South Wales.

Being generally apolitical I thought I would try and summon up some kind of Gandhiesque power of political persuasion and just not go … that’ll learn’em. Well the days past and I peered into my now near empty watering hole, the pretty barmaids with their stoic, life will go on without that guy sat on his pat in the corner faces on. One could tell, I was going to bring this NSW government to its knees.

Finally, to break the stalemate that had formed between me and my beloved I ventured back in and to my utter amazement ……. Nothing, no one knew of this power struggle the human suffering ….. I guess it was only 8 days … to quote that great philosopher Homer …. “the lesson is .. never try”

Nothing to complain about, but that willn’t stop me …

Thought I might share some background, I am a mid to late twenties (read thirty this year) accountant with a personality to match, that is completely bereft of one. There is nothing particularly wrong with my existence, but by the same token there is nothing right with it either.

With a complete indifference towards the day job and an insatiable need to dull the pain with alcohol, you could ostensibly time my life with your wrist watch, or mayhaps a fob watch for the more hoity-toity of you.

I have lived in good ol’ Sydney town now for nigh on seven years and hate it with a complete lack of passion. With the exception of people I have worked with (who up and leave anyway), I don’t know a soul here (can you hear that? It’s the worlds smallest violin in the background).

Being a personality challenged accountant, who, in case you were wondering has little wherewithal and a face only a mother could love (at least I think she does, she seems to when I go to visit her in the country, for all I know the rest of the year she’s thinking “what the fuck have I delivered to this world”) there are no women of the opposite sex in my life.

Having said that, I did go to lunch with a girl once, I thought it was great, took the day off work (actually told the boss I had a date so I willn’t be in, yes I said “willn’t”, I can not stand the words won’t or shan’t), thought lunch went swimmingly, turns out she hated me, did not return my call the next day, oh well. On the bright side it saved her the time it would normally take some to get sick of me.

So as you can see I actually have nothing of any real consequence to say, but an overwhelming desire to tell someone…..

If I think of something witty, smart or smutty to say I’ll get back to you…

Anon…

Here goes

I have a friend, I guess had a friend, not sure anymore, last time I saw him we had less in common than ever, but I digress. He is an extraordinarily smart guy, eloquent in both prose and speech and I love reading his blog and it has lead me to other blogs and all of a sudden these people who may or may not exist have formed a part of my otherwise unbearable day to day life.

Perhaps it is just that he is such an extraordinary person that he has the privilege of getting to know this circle of wise, witty and often debased people, who knows, but I thought, for a while at least, I would put my two cents in, until told to “shut the fuck up you snivelling little sook”.. which, I imagine should not take long.

Any who, going to post this, I don’t really imagine it will work, computers and I don’t always see eye to eye … wish me luck (not that you will see this if it does not work the first time)